Looking from the outside into the life of Michael Jackson amid the frenzy and differing stories emerging, one can’t help but wonder what is true and what is fictional. He lead his life in the spotlight of publicity, had no choice, a boy star, from a family of performers. Controlled, if it is to be believe, by an autocratic father, who bullied, abused and groomed his children for stardom.
But the most important thing in his life alluded him. I hope now in death, he is able to find it.
He had prestige, accolade, untold wealth, houses, cars; anything he wanted be could buy, and buy he did, often unwisely, as if trying to buy his childhood back. And yet, again from hearsay, he had debts amounting to $500 million. A colossal sum for any company let alone for an individual, but perhaps he was that, an institution to be used and exploited.
Was it all worth it?
That is not for me to answer, but I suspect his children may not think it so; they are left without a father, now in the custody of their grandmother, but even here there is controversy. There is a saying in the Wild West, live by the bullet and you die by it. Michael Jackson lived in the media, and now in death nothing is hidden.
He lead a bizarre life, his Never-Never-Land Ranch, the fair ground, his monkey Bubbles, his menagerie of animals. His predilection for being with children, and not least of all, his tormented personality; he was not happy inside his body. The operations on his face, his skin treatments, his reliance on tablets, adds up to... I’ll let you work that conclusion.
The child abuse court case which cost him millions, and yet he couldn't help himself. He was on a roundabout, a cage on his merry go round, knew he was there, but didn’t know how to stop it turning to allow him time to get off.
Did he abuse children?
I think not; inside his heart he was a child, stardom had robbed him of his childhood, and for the rest of his life he tried to regain that feeling of being a child, playing, laughing, running, smiling. But of course, he failed, what is lost is gone, and you must move on, but Michael couldn't move forward, so he stayed where he was in his mind – a child, a lost child.
But the most important thing in his life alluded him. I hope now in death, he is able to find it.
He had prestige, accolade, untold wealth, houses, cars; anything he wanted be could buy, and buy he did, often unwisely, as if trying to buy his childhood back. And yet, again from hearsay, he had debts amounting to $500 million. A colossal sum for any company let alone for an individual, but perhaps he was that, an institution to be used and exploited.
Was it all worth it?
That is not for me to answer, but I suspect his children may not think it so; they are left without a father, now in the custody of their grandmother, but even here there is controversy. There is a saying in the Wild West, live by the bullet and you die by it. Michael Jackson lived in the media, and now in death nothing is hidden.
He lead a bizarre life, his Never-Never-Land Ranch, the fair ground, his monkey Bubbles, his menagerie of animals. His predilection for being with children, and not least of all, his tormented personality; he was not happy inside his body. The operations on his face, his skin treatments, his reliance on tablets, adds up to... I’ll let you work that conclusion.
The child abuse court case which cost him millions, and yet he couldn't help himself. He was on a roundabout, a cage on his merry go round, knew he was there, but didn’t know how to stop it turning to allow him time to get off.
Did he abuse children?
I think not; inside his heart he was a child, stardom had robbed him of his childhood, and for the rest of his life he tried to regain that feeling of being a child, playing, laughing, running, smiling. But of course, he failed, what is lost is gone, and you must move on, but Michael couldn't move forward, so he stayed where he was in his mind – a child, a lost child.
He reminded me of the parable of the lost sheep, balanced on a precipice clinging desperately in case it fell. The sheep found help, Michael was still looking but death found him first.
I remember the furore of when he held his baby over the balcony, my heart jumped to see how reckless he could be with another life. It wasn’t intentional, I don’t think that for a moment, but he couldn’t see the danger, and still, I don’t think he felt he had done anything wrong.
You often find that in people of genius, they have talent, and yet lack common sense, but this article will not be complete unless I separate the man from his music.
I remember the furore of when he held his baby over the balcony, my heart jumped to see how reckless he could be with another life. It wasn’t intentional, I don’t think that for a moment, but he couldn’t see the danger, and still, I don’t think he felt he had done anything wrong.
You often find that in people of genius, they have talent, and yet lack common sense, but this article will not be complete unless I separate the man from his music.
There, he was whole, the sounds pleased, his dance enchanted, his whole demeanour was of the showman, the entertainer, and because of that, something was lost in the translation back into ordinary everyday life, the mask dropped, the sad clown's face came through. He will go down as one of the greats of music. That is assured, like Elvis Presley, another tortured individual who died before his time.
I said earlier that the most important thing in life alluded him, for all his wealth and fame, or perhaps because of it. I believe he never felt loved or valued for himself, and longed for that feeling of being cherished for what he was, and not for what he could give to others, and give he did of himself over generously.
Would I have changed places with him when he lived? No, if it were offered, I would have run away and carried on running, but I hope now, Michael Jackson will find the peace he craved in life, and I wish his children and his family well.
As yet, the drama is still centre stage, and far from its final conclusion. The curtain is up, the show must goes forward, and it will, in spectacular fashion, his place in history assured, rest in peace Michael Jackson, the peace which alluded you in life.
I said earlier that the most important thing in life alluded him, for all his wealth and fame, or perhaps because of it. I believe he never felt loved or valued for himself, and longed for that feeling of being cherished for what he was, and not for what he could give to others, and give he did of himself over generously.
Would I have changed places with him when he lived? No, if it were offered, I would have run away and carried on running, but I hope now, Michael Jackson will find the peace he craved in life, and I wish his children and his family well.
As yet, the drama is still centre stage, and far from its final conclusion. The curtain is up, the show must goes forward, and it will, in spectacular fashion, his place in history assured, rest in peace Michael Jackson, the peace which alluded you in life.
Let me have your comments, please.
I agree.
ReplyDeleteMichael died because he was fixed in a reality which either no longer existed, or never existed in the first place. Michael was coloured, he wanted to be white. He had a nice face, but wanted it to look different, he was a mature adult,yet insisted on never leaving childhood. Also internal pain and pressures were not properly faced and dealt with, including of course his autocratic father and grieving the childhood he had never known.
Paradoxically it was not the brutality of his father or lack of childhood that killed Michael. Many have suffered worse and come through the other end. Michael refused to 'move on'. Refused to grow emotionaly and spiritually. He then died prematurely because his 'money and fame allowed him to create a false reality - including Neverland etc It allowed him to buy multiple operations and a surrogate mother for his children, to cocoon him from a reality that he fouud unacceptable.
What his money could never buy him is what Michael needed most, to experience the love of a 'higher power' most call it God, who is compassionate, life giving & eternal. Had Michael been able to tap into this and experience this, self love and acceptance would have followed. No surgery would have been needed, and no compulsive buying. Michael would have loved his face not dissfigured it. He would not need to medicate his pain with drugs. Ironicaly Michael has clearly attempted to connect to God, and suceeded in part, by his music and dance. Why else was he so inspired, a genius.
Many people connect with God in their own individual way. Some with song, some with meditation, some with prayer, some even in their writing perhaps? I am comforted by the fact that someone as 'inspired' as Michael must have surely connected with God in his music and dance, but he could not live his life on a stage. I believe God knew Michael by name, knew his torment and would have given him the acceptance and compassion he deserved had he chosen to walk with him. That being the case there is surely a place for Michael in heaven tonight, where he now rests, at peace at last.
My friend Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteHow so right you are, he was fixed in an unreality, and tried to be something he could never be, and the harder he tried the greater a failure he felt himself.
Yes, I do believe he was a failure in life, his music was a success, but for me, I measure the individual and not the achievement, as they say, a full barn, and you lose everything else. Where is the value there?
Only so much wheat anyone can eat in a lifetime.
He compared himself to Jesus, and perhaps he was starting to believe it. When you are that success, everyone around you agrees with you, and you start to believe their lies, but there you are, I do feel for his family, especially his children.
Yes I do believe on some level he did connect with his God, and I hope he has now found the rest he couldn't find when alive.
Anyway, thank you for reading my blog, and I do, very much so, value your comments, please keep them coming, I reply to everyone, from my blog and from my email account.
I am also on Twitters and twit there a few time a day. tweet, tweet, as they so, and have a good day.
Taboo Blue from Twitters said: Your article on Michael was nicely done! If only the press could have such grace and respect. Have a lovely holiday!
ReplyDelete12:49 PM Jul 2nd from web in reply to RoyTomkinson
I agree. The bloggs now are full of grace & respect and worth reading. thank you. To this I would offer my own position from the book ' a course in mirracles':
ReplyDelete'Every choice that we make is a choice between a grievance & a mirracle.
Let go of grievances illwill and resentments, and choose the mirracle'.
Hi Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteNot sure what you mean when you say, miracle! What book? Have you read my book, "Of Boys, Men and Mountains?"
Anyway, thank you for reading my blog, and have a good day.
Roy.